"Aren't we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they'll tell us that we make sense?"

- Rudy Francisco

Influenced by my reading on habit formation and maintenance, I've been analysing my habits for a weeks now. Sometimes it's nice to put yourself under a microscope, no matter how uncomfortable or confronting that may be. I've made the following realisations (and in all honesty, I knew all these things about myself already):

• It takes me a long time to make a decision, which of course translate to me being wishy-washy. Depending on my mood/information gathered at a particular moment, my decision can shift to the other side. (It took my friend two years of nagging for me to finally go to her crazy workout class... and even after I said yes, she requested a screenshot of my inscription to the class.) Possible future scenario: My boyfriend is down on one knee for a very long time and me pondering whether the answer is "yes" or "let's think about this some more."
• If I break from my routine, the day would feel chaotic. It's my OCD-ness, I suppose. I like routine, but I also like change -- but under my own terms. I'm trying to be more flexible now and to still have my bearings when things clearly are out of my own hands. I'm working on my "savasana" off the mat. Possible future scenario: Running around like a headless chicken if I miss my cup of morning matcha. 
• Mindless phone use when I'm bored, especially before bed. My brain is used to multi-tasking, which makes me feel efficient, but really can be a hindrance to actual progress. There are other activities out there that are far more relaxing/rewarding than browsing your phone as you battle boredom. I realised that if I want to get more sleep at night, I should leave my phone and laptop off my bed and on my table, where I can't grab them at arm's reach. I can say it has helped me fall asleep much faster instead of being wide awake for almost an hour, looking at random Instagram posts or finding something to watch on Netflix. Possible future scenario: Accidentally liking someone's photo from 84 weeks ago as my eyes succumb to slumber. 
• Panicky phone calls, especially when making appointments. I think the more urgent the phone call, the more anxiety I have making that call. There are probably a few things I'd rather do than make phone calls. Like boot camp. Or walking on hot stones. Or jumping out of a plane. (This is why my friends ask me if they can call me first... I'm weird that way.) But the call must be done and I just have to suck it up. Possible future scenario: Not returning a call to claim some big reward... because anxiety. 
• I am an emotional eater. But, seriously. It depends on the kind of stress, but I do tend to eat my feelings when there's a looming anxiety in my life. As if that fourth piece of avocado brownie would envelope me from my fears. Then, because I was so anxious about eating one too many pieces of cake, I over-exercise. Neither of which is good for anyone, let's be honest. Crossing my fingers, I'm fine with my eating and I rest. Possible future scenario: Finishing off a pan of brownies before an Instagram photo is taken. (Haha!) 

Now, enough about me. I'm rather tired reading myself. But on with the last point, if you want to eat your emotions, you should make it so that you're eating healthy foods. Or foods that seem devilish, but are really not all bad for you at all. Like these tahini cookies inspired by this recipe by the Almond Eater.  (Psst, I modified the recipe to make it vegan. So we all win.)

Chocolate-Dipped Tahini Cookies
Makes 12-18 cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 1/4 cup spelt flour
• 1/2 cup coconut sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 2 tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 2 flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flax seed, 6 tbsp of water)
• 1/2 cup tahini
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 cup sesame seeds

For the chocolate:

• 1 cup Enjoy Life mega chocolate chunks 
• 2 tbsp coconut oil

Preheat oven to 350F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment sheet. Set aside.

Combine flour, coconut sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a mixing bowl.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flax eggs, tahini, maple syrup and vanilla together. Add in the cooled melted coconut oil.

Add the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients. Mix together and then add the sesame seeds.

Chill the dough in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Using a spoon or ice cream scoop, scoop dough into balls. Press down a bit before baking.

Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes, depending on their thickness. Once baked, let cool and transfer unto a wire rack.

Whilst the cookies are cooling, prepare the chocolate by using a bain-marie to melt the chocolate and coconut oil together. (Or you can microwave for at least 50 seconds.) 

Once cooled, dip the cookies in the chocolate.

Enjoy! xx